


The Hellsing Incident

by Broken_Story_locker



Category: John Dies at the End - David Wong, SCP Foundation
Genre: Arguments, Bad Puns, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, David is not doing so well, Foundation lies, Jack and John shanigans, Lots of death and destruction, Mental Illness, Mentions of suicide / suicidal ideation, NON still exists, Nightmares, Raw story fragments, Takes place around where WTHDIJR would have happened, Unfinished / unlikely to be continued, Unreliable Narrator, Vampires, i spent too long on this, unnamed guards and various staff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 10:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16680100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_Story_locker/pseuds/Broken_Story_locker
Summary: The SCP Foundation tracts down John, Dave, and Amy, a few years after the Face spider outbreak subsided, to offer them dubious work at the foundation. Little do they know, the trio's absence gave dark forces an opportunity to slip into town unnoticed. The truth is unknown and the unknown is truth. Everybody is just as lost as the next person.





	The Hellsing Incident

The sun slowly pats the land dry after the most recent rain storm. The ground is still slick with mud. At the edge of [Undisclosed] at the hidden in plain sight NON building, a white jeep kicks up dirt and rocks as it speeds onto facility grounds while being chased by five other large vehicles.  
The driver of the white jeep does several erratic donuts before skidding to a stop. The lawn is now a wreck of lines. Black vehicles form a heavily armored half circle around the invaders ready for close to anything to happen. All guns are pointed at the center.  
The faint sound of muffled bickering is heard from the car. Moments later a noticeably frustrated man in a large sun hat and a lab coat steps out.   
One of the guards pulls out their walkie-talkie and says to contact one of the supervisors. Today was going to be a long day.  
Out the back of the car two more people in coats step out. One with a megaphone.

This was pretty much how it started. Dr. Clef, Dr. Bright, and the assistant they had brought with them were well known, and quite frankly they were pissed off. Somehow by some ungodly magic NON’s business kept becoming their business. SCPs would show up unannounced, oftenly in a terrifying frenzy, having to be quarantined and evaluated before being sent back. It was seriously setting back important research. Not only that but it has lead to countless containment breaches.

The megaphone screeches to life “Gibson. Get out here and don’t act like you don’t know us. We have been through this already. One of your guy’s problems is trapped in a metal trunk in our car, SCP#ooooo , or your A-5569.” Dr.Clef releases the button, waiting for a response.  
The clicks and scuffs of heavy vests and guns hang in the uncomfortable silence like cricket chirps at a bad joke. “If you don’t my associates and I will find out where you live and shove not just ass-sixty-nine up your asshole but also both of our rule books. Because your men must have their heads shoved their asses for this to have been happening as frequently as it has.”  
Gibson walks out from the reinforced door use to enter the main structure.  
Gibson speaks up “Our contacts are in your database. Why the hell are you three wanding lengths doing here?!”  
Clef hand the megaphone over to the assistant and stands before the other agent.   
In an irritated tone Clef replied “We have been. For the past month every time anybody tries to call or email, they are met with either your defunct answering machine or what could very well be whispers from an afterlife in hell. I know NON may not have been around as long as our foundation, but that is no excuse for you not to have a protective device on your lines.”  
The effort to hold back frustration could be seen on Gibson’s face. Just as he opened his mouth to speak his cellphone rang. He flipped it open and placed it to the side of his head and answered. Several awkward minutes later the call ended and he ran his hand across his face letting out a breath. Gibson got back on task “That was the superiors. They just informed me that we need you for a case.”

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At John’s house Amy, Dave, and him were enjoying chocolate fondue, when there was a knock at the front door. They were not expecting any guests.  
John excused himself, “I’ll go see who it is.”  
Looking through the peephole he could see about ten heavily armored people with guns patiently waiting on the porch. He felt a trickle of dread at the sight.  
Dave asked “Who is it?”  
In a low voice, John replied “We have to quietly get the fuck out of here. Right now.”  
Another knock, louder this time and with a gruff voice from outside “We know you’re in there.”  
“Shit.” John hissed.  
Amy said “Should we open the door and try taking to them?”  
John stated “They have guns.”  
The man on the other side “On a count of three. One… Two… Thre-”  
John opened the door “Is there a problem?”  
“Are you Mr.Cheese?” asked the front person.  
“First, may I ask who you are?”, John said skeptically.  
“I’m Agent Rex,” he pulled out a badge and presented it to him, “May I talk with you for a moment?”  
John glanced over his shoulder to Dave and Amy for confirmation. They seemed okay with it although just as confused.  
With a minute layer of doubt John agreed. 

 

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After a quick weapons check, David climbed into the back of the armored truck and sat next to John and Amy on the long cushioned seating that mirrored on both sides of the compartment, along with two armed guards in uniform stationed across from them. Aside from them telling the three that someone was wanting to speak with them, they knew nothing. Dim lighting and the lack of windows made the space feel claustrophobic as they were faried to a different location. Amy picked at a loose string on the hem of her sweater to distract herself. The humming of the motor and the occasional cough were floating in the pooling silence.  
“So,” John spoke “I’ve always wondered, how hard is it to use the bathroom while dressed like that?”  
The guard on the left from their point of veiw chuckled “It’s like tryin’ to take a leak requires a mastery in novelty puzzle boxes. But to be honest, that’s a good thing in our line of work.”  
John said “I wish we had that level of crotch security laying around. All we have are some knock-off tactical chastity belts that Dave keeps in his sex dungeon next to his extensive collection of rubber sex dolls.”  
“Just to be clear, I do not have any of that. He is just making up stories because he is bored.” David addressed.   
The right guard slipped in a “That’s what they all say.” under their breath.  
Amy, though still nervous, was struggling to hold back a laugh. John leaned over to her with one hand up as a faux privacy screen.  
In a joking hush tone that everybody could hear he said “You see that I? I’ve got them hooked. If we can just keep this up for long enough we’ll be getting out of here in no time.”  
Amy couldn’t hold it in any longer, and burst out laughing along with both of the guards.  
Figuring that when a group of people with guns show up at the doorstep, someone usually wants somebody killed horrendously, the ride didn’t turn out as bad as they thought it would. They arrived an hour later. By the time that they were stepping out it was clear that John probably had just made two new friends, and Amy was slightly calmer. On the other hand Dave still had this creeping feeling that something was wrong and that something big was looming on the horizon.  
Another more important looking set of armed personal greeted the crew and guided them through a strenuous amount of security checks that went on for days, all reasonably necessary. Although some to a person without the proper training, knowledge, or experience would appear to be total nonsense. One was for the subject to look into a kaleidoscope. It is just a normal kaleidoscope, nothing special. ( Why have it listed in protocol is that certain forms of mental corruption caused by a few parasites, reprogramming, and brain chips, ect… may in some cases cause 'glitches’ of sorts when introduced to various abstract input. An example would be the subject seeing into an alternate reality, or responding in a dead language, or convolutions, all while looking into said toy.) Weirdly enough, John got diagnosed with a minor case of red-green colorblindness as a result of that one. Thankfully, Amy, Dave, and John all passed with flying colors. The final stage in screening was a trip to foundation psychiatry department. Dave was not happy about that.

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In the psychiatrist’s room Dave sat uncomfortably in an armchair across from a doctor he couldn't quite recall the name of at the time, Dr.Flint he thinks. A professional who's appearance managed to closely resemble that of an antique varnished wood and glass display case stuck in human form, large glasses, solid construction, a few blemishes, with a voice like a tarnished lock. Maybe he was a display case at some point. It wasn't entirely out of the question. [See separate entry for interview]   
Skipping to the end of their talk, Dr.Flint gave Dave strong advance to seek further assistance in dealing with his mental health, along with a card.  
Adding on to this Dr.Flint stated the following “David, You have passed our screening test. I only have one question left to ask. How would you feel if we hired you to do what you and your pals have been doing, professionally as part of a larger plan to keep where we live secure, contained, and protected?”  
The words 'larger plan’ hardly ever end well. Regardless, a part of David was intrigued as to what he was saying.  
David asked “ I am not agreeing as of yet, but what would be in it for me?”  
“A lot actually. Housing, a large paycheck, some of the best healthcare on this planet, extra back-up on call for emergencies and up. There are a few rules that need to be followed but otherwise it's a safer deal than what has been happening from your garage for years. We have a packet that lists all of the benefits if you join.”  
Dave though on it like a person taste testing a hard candy.   
He had another question “ What about Amy and John?”  
“What about your friends?”  
“If I join what would be the situation surrounding them?”  
“Hold on, just one second.” Dr.Flint stood up and wandered over to the intercom. The conversation across the room couldn't be heard aside from soft muttering, then he went back in font of David.  
“From the sounds of it they will only join if you are in agreement.” Flint shared.  
More thinking from Dave, “May I ask why you are hiring us?”  
Flint pulled out a clipboard of pages and flipped through them. He explained to Dave how with the amount of times that he and his friends had been reported capturing, fighting, killing, and most importantly surviving the deathly anomalous, that they had been performing pretty much the same work that sections of the organization was specialised in, albeit in a ridiculously dangerous manner, with less paperwork. As time would go on it would begin to dawn on Dave that these guys knew everything public and most of the privet about him, and the same on everyone that he and his friends knew. Investigation dove deep and came back to say things were passable. Not the cleanest of history mind you, it was good enough to get by with though.   
Flint repeated at the end, “How does it sound to you?”  
“You know what, it’s good enough. I’m in.” answered Dave  
Flint got up again, to the intercom and back,“Welcome aboard. Orientation will start the day after tomorrow and until then you and you counterparts will be temporarily placed in the foundation community dorms, as part of procedure.”

Leaving the room there was only one guard this time in lighter gear, at the door. The person didn't say much other than for Dave to stay close for a bit. Not much later Amy came jogging from a door down to hug him.  
“David!” She said happily into his chest.  
Even though the layers of bitter that he held, it would be a lie to say that he wasn't relieved to be with her again. Dave pet the top of Amy’s head in a light and caring manner as she clung around his torso. John soon casually meandered over and said “Dave, you will not believe what they did.”  
A twinge of concern poked David, “John, what did they do?”  
“They cleared out our houses of that weird stuff that we’ve been collecting. Clown painting, racist dildo, everything.”  
Amy let go and Dave got closer to John. Glancing a look, the guard was distracted by a mustard stain on their sleeve.  
Dave asked pointed and low “What about the Sauce?”  
John replicated the utterance “They didn't find it as far as I can tell. Play it cool and things will be fine.”  
The guard was now looking at two men.   
They asked “Is there a problem?”  
Dave said “Everything is fine. We’re, uh, just talking about my girlfriend's birthday present. I want it to be a surprise.”  
The guard gave a nod of acceptance and said “Well all right then.”  
Later they were escorted to individually designated rooms in a different building near by. While crossing the main courtyard between structures during a basic explanation of the commons lay out (where things like where the showers and cafeteria were), occasionally stenciled on doors and brick in bold was the number ‘13’.  
It didn't take long before the group was split up at their separate rooms. As a final note they were told not to trigger any alarms unless they knew for certain that a disaster was happening or that it was one of the anomalies listed in the booklet, that and if anything weirder than the unusual came up what number to dial. The first night was a restless one.

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John was the first one to get up in the morning. When done with his routine he set out for the cafeteria for breakfast, ignoring the feeling odd feeling in the back of his mind in favour of food and chatting it up with anybody willing enough. The table aria was somewhat emptier than one would expect of such a place. Just a handful people were out drinking coffee and sitting separately for the most part. It made John think that other personal were either out working or still asleep, and that David wouldn't be too out of place working there.   
Someone from one of the closer tables in the room caught sight of him at the salad bar and decided it was a good time as any to say hello.   
“Hey there newbee, how's it going? My name's Dr. Bright.”  
“John. Nice to meet you.”  
Bright was a skinny brunette a few inches tall than John, with an amulet and chain wrapped around his left hand almost like how a glove might fit.  
“Would you like to join me at a table?”  
“Okay.”  
After John had a tray stacked up with honey toaster strudels and a few drinking cartons of orange juice he tracked Jack back to one of the many grey folding tables.   
Sitting down John inquired, “What’s it like, working at here?”  
Bright swallowed the food he was chewing, then said, “Eh, it’s mostly boring office work when people aren’t fighting or researching.” he takes another piece off of his plate.  
John remarks “So kind of like being a cop but without the rad TV show?”  
Bright chuckled to himself for a moment , then said, “If neither of us are busy, remind me about that later when we next see eachother, so I can show you something.”  
“Wait, wait, Is there TV show?”  
Bright’s smile grew a little “It’s not a TV show per say, just a film series. I guess it’s what people would call a B-movie franchise more than a blockbuster. But between you and me, I think that’s bullshit. We could have gone for another five or so before slowing down. But when the people above you say stop, you got to stop.”  
“Man, at least you got past one film. The movie that my friends and I made was great but it was no Die Hard.” John said sounding a bit disappointed.  
“So that is where I remember you from,” Bright said in realization “I had this odd feeling that I had met you or someone like you briefly somehow, a long while before seeing you here. The info must have gotten a little mixed up in my mind somewhere.”  
John said “It happens.”  
There was a bit of a lull as they both ate.  
Bright asked “So how was it being a dog?”  
“It was like wearing a snowsuit in a battle against restless limbs and turrets. It was not a pleasant experience.” John stated.  
Bright said in a relatable realief, “I know that feeling. Thank god it’s not something we have to deal with every day. If we did this would be way more difficult than it already is.”  
John asked “What were you inside of?”  
Bright twiddled with the spoon in his hand, “I have been a bunch of beings, including a hand full people, but it has been mostly short stays in animals and objects. It’s best to keep it to a minimum.” In that moment a tiny flicker of melancholy appeared on Bright’s back, like a sad humming bird making a visit. Blink and it would be missed.   
A pager beeped. Bright checked it.  
“I have to go. See you after the meeting?” Bright said while excusing himself from the table.  
“Sure.”  
And like that Bright was exiting the cafeteria.  
Dave entered the scene looking exhausted. He simply poured himself a cup of pure black coffee and grabbed a banana muffin at the counter before trudging his way silently to where Bright had been previously positioned at the table and took a seat.  
John watched him as if to see if it was the right time to talk, then said, “I take it you didn’t get any sleep.”  
Dave took a chunk out of the baked good. Then a swig of coffee. Then he spoke.  
“Something doesn’t seem right about this.”  
“I think the muffins might be a bit stale.”  
“That is not what I’m talking about, John. I mean them hiring us to work at this place. Neither of us have any experience or training to do with military or science. Yet look at where we are.” Dave gestured a hand in motion of ‘what the fuck is all of this’ to punctuate. “Everybody here has a degree in something.”  
John finished one of the pastries off his own tray. The only thing that they were scheduled for that day was the orientation meeting and medical inoculations, which were both in the afternoon and mandatory. He was in no rush.  
“If these guys had anything bad planned I think they would have done it already. We should chill out and see how this goes.” he said reassuringly.  
Suddenly realising that he might have been over reacting, Dave slowly eased up. He was still worried.  
Dave grumbled “I guess. This is one of the best deals we have ever gotten. But my opinion stands, this place is strange.”

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At the edge of town , A mining crew were assigned the job of clearing the entrance to the cave that ran next to the local lake. Ignoring all warnings in favor of a sum of cash, the workers were successful in providing access. Unfortunately what preceded in consequence was that all of those on the project site that final day were found missing or dead by the end of the second week. The missing left homes and vehicles in a state that looked as if they ceased to exist abruptly in the middle of whatever they were doing at the time. Trucks running, porn open on computer browsers, showers turned cold, and ovens burning down houses. They were gone. The bodies found were found strung and splayed like slaughtered cattle, drained of all blood, their once internal organs reappropriated into lengths of rope binding them to structures in ways that would have been tricky if not impossible. The local authorities knew instantly that what they had was a case better left to other powers of ‘enforcement’. That being said, they tried obtaining contact with John, Dave and Amy. Discovering them to also have been gone spawned the idea that they were already on the case or dead. To which the safest bet would be to keep an eye on the issue and pray that it does not get worse. It got worse. In line with code, field agents transferred the information to the step up in power for further investigation into the claims.

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Midnight, in the security control room. The room was staffed with people trained in the art of reading charts and finding abnormalities off of screens, as if Waldo was dressed in neon rave gear. They came in on a moving schedule to watch computer monitors and give reports to the staff above them. The night started out as a normal one would. People traversing halls with papers from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’, a dripping sink in the hand washroom outside of the medical bay, a confused moth trying to seduce the lightbulb in the library. They were not opposed to a quiet lul. It was like this for a good while until somebody got information off the machine used to track atom distribution that a person was walking through walls in one of the housing blocks. At first it was treated as the device glitching footage from person walking down a different part of the building. A separate person watching thermal readings then pointed out that the thing was showing off and on as a cold-spot. They pulled up both readings as a side-by-side on a larger screen. The inconsistency landed itself in room 4-24, on the corner where a figure was in bed.   
That was all they needed before activating the first alarm.   
The ten guards on night watch grabbed their weapons and were closing in. The cold spot got colder for half a second as soon as the warning lights activated in hall 4. It then vanished off of both sensors. No other devices were picking up readings on the intruder. The room’s inhabitant got up. The guards threw open the door and inspected every crevice. The security director received transmission from the foot guards, “The room’s clear. Wong is rattled but unharmed. We are continuing the search in other parts of the building.”  
“Report back whether or not you find anything.” The gruff voice of the director confirmed.  
“Affirmative.” said in response.  
“One more thing,” the director added “Make sure to keep good tabs on Wong in particular. I think he knows something is up, and I don’t trust him not to go looking around on his own terms.”  
“Is that all?”  
“That will be all.”

 

[The orientation meeting went fine and the three at the end of the day go back to their rooms. Dave passed out around midnight.]  
[[[Three hours later Dave slowly woke up. When his eyes adjusted he blearily saw a shadowy form standing at the foot of the bed. Thinking it was just a trench coat and hat on the coat rack he rolled over to go back to sleep. Something didn’t sit right with him. Then he realised. The room has a closet, not a coat rack. Quickly flipping over the thing at the end of the end of the bed was a shadow person in a fedora. It stared back at Dave with ember eyes and a malicious grin. He couldn’t break eye contact as the dark form moved closer. It leaned over the left side of the bed, getting it’s face within make-out distance. The scent of death rolled from it’s mouth as it turned his head. The entity had Dave frozen to the bed somehow unable to move. Thick humid breath brushed his neck. The emergency lights kick on and alarmes howeled. The thing retracted and let go. Although caught off guard it strolled calmly over to the opposite side of the room and passed through the wall like it was liquid water. As soon as it was gone Dave took a deep breath and coughed. The door to the room split open and guards came flooding in. Slightly dissociated Dave rubbed his neck to prove to himself he had not been bitten. A guard approached him.  
“Are you hurt?”  
Dave stops touching his neck to take a look at his hand, “I’m alright.”  
“I am going to have to ask if anything happened before we came in here.”  
“ I just woke up to a shadow in a hat over the bed. I think it wanted to ... bite me.”  
The guard asked “Did it get you?”  
Dave was still working on processing what happened, “No. I’m fine. Uh. Are…”  
The guard talked briefly into his radio before asking, “Are, what?”  
“Are, um” Dave clears his throat, “Are vampires real?”  
“Do you think you saw a vampire?”  
“I don’t know what it was, but it tried to bite me and left out a wall like a ghost would.”  
a clear was given and most of the group filed out to continue searching while the guard talking with David sayed behind to keep watch.]]]

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The next morning in the mess hall, David plopped densely across from John, it was crystal clear that Dave had been beaten raw by his emotions overnight.  
John was worried, “Are you okay? What happened last night?”  
Dave coughed, his voice was almost a horse whisper as he spoke, “I was attacked by a vampire, John. And before you ask, no. I was not bitten. I woke up and it was just smiling at the end of my bed, I couldn’t move, and it swooped in on me. I just want to get this day over with.”  
John didn’t speak.   
The assault had dredged darkness in David that he didn’t want to acknowledge. A trigger had been pulled and the memories had come flooding out onto the floor. He did not want to address it. In his mind putting it into words would give it more power than he thought he could handle. An invisible battle ran through his thoughts. He turned his eyes to the table in an effort to distance   
himself. ‘Why don’t you go piss off a guard. Maybe then they will be the one to kill you instead of yourself. Maybe…’ it was sneaking up on him again. He looked back at John.  
John interrupted the internal argument, “I don’t know if I say this often enough but, Amy and I care about you. We are here for you.”  
David forced out a small “thanks”. Any more and he would end up saying more than he intended to. John understood. He got up to go get Dave a coffee. Amy scooped up a couple bearclaws and Dave suddenly had arms around him. He jumped then sank into her affection. It was like she was trying to suck the pain out of him through ozmosis. She wanted him to feel better.  
“Your muscles are tense. Did something happen last night?” Amy inquired.   
John came back with the drink, “ A vampire broke into his room. The sirens went off across the whole building, it was gone by the time they got in there with their guns. If I ever find the blood sucker that did it I will personally make sure that there is a head of garlic shoved up it’s ass by sunrise.”  
Dave took a sip of coffee, “That would be much appreciated, but I think the foundation has it under control. You need to remember, John, that these guys have been doing this for longer that we have. It’s not our problem. At least currently it isn’t.”  
Amy slid over a bearclaw to David. He opened it only half aware of something being in his hands. He took a bite then another swig of coffee.  
He noticed then what She had given it to him.   
“Thank you, Amy.”  
“No problem.” Amy said before letting go of him as so she could eat her own claw.


End file.
